Fellow Denizens of the Blogosphere, this has been a monumental week. My summer class met for the last few times, then turned in their exams, which I then graded before averaging and submitting grades. I then whirled around Belle Reve II in a frenzy of Windex and Swiffer Mop Cloths in preparation for a visit from my parents, during which there was much Cracker Barrel and HGTV. I’m now sitting on my couch in the still that follows a great storm of activity, trying to process the fact that there really are three new women on The Real Housewives of New York and that I am actually on summer break.
Of course, I wouldn’t be Emma Bolden if I didn’t say that summer break doesn’t mean a vacation from work — it means that this is when the real work begins. On top of my writing desk sits a seeming infinity of print-offs and handwritten notebook pages and receipts covered with phrases like “BOWERBIRD NESTS CRAZY” and “NINJA DECORATING SERVICE,” and all of these things need much attention. I’m in the midst of some major course re-designs as well as preparations for a brand new course, and I’ve got some major plans for organizing my dresser drawers and decorating my office on campus.
And now, after typing that, I’m realizing that I should probably have more exciting plans. I mean, it’s summer, after all. Return to the previous paragraph. For manuscripts needing attention, please read “climb the Empire State Building while wearing shoes and gloves made of suction cups.” For course re-designs, please read “build a yacht out of recycled water bottles.” For organizing dresser drawers, please read “finally kick-start my career in gangsta rap.” Or let’s just look at some pictures …

Day 169: Alice wanted to go outside so very much that she tried to chew through the door. I’m actually not quite sure why that didn’t work for her. It seemed like an obtainable goal.

Day 170: Every summer, I decide it’s time for me to learn how to cook. Most summers, this decision sticks for, oh, a week or two — but for that week or two, man, can I ever cook. This summer, I’ve once again made said decision, but it’s going to have to stick longer than a week or two, since I apparently probably have Celiac’s Disease, which is problematic as my ideal meal would be a bread salad with a side of bread. Thankfully, I feel so much better in my bread-free life that I don’t spend all of my time wishing I could build a fortress made of bread and eat my way out of it, just most of my time.

Day 171: I’ve always been fascinated by doll houses — all of those tiny people and chairs and accessories! Tiny couches and candles and croissants! I loved them because of the idea of possibility, because you could make a new life in that house every day. Even though I’m an adult, I still kind of want to play with them when I see them.

Day 173: My summer class was absolutely awesome, so, for our end-of-term party, I baked them a cake made of rainbows and smiles and gave them all a piece. It was my first gluten-free cake and I was very happy that it didn’t taste too much like particle board.

Day 174: I keep accidentally moving to towns that have restrictive liquor laws. Georgetown was completely dry — you could only serve The Booze in restaurants. In Statesboro, you can buy The Booze at restaurants and The Beer and Wine at stores, but you can’t buy bottles of The Booze. I wanted to get my parents a bottle of their favorite bourbon, which meant I had to drive to a nearby county, where I found not only The Booze but this beautiful sight.

Day 175: Every so often, a new kind of technology emerges with the power to change our lives for the better, forever, which can give us the ability to truly express ourselves with honesty and grace. I believe that the Cat Paint app is exactly such a technology. Only Cat Paint could allow me to express my feelings about pastel polo shirts so accurately, as nothing expresses this feeling better than CATS SHOOTING LASERS OUT OF THEIR EYES.


Your visit from the parents (and the prep leading up to such) rang so true (right down to the HGTV) that it made me smile out loud.
Oh, and now I want a yacht made out of recycled water bottles. I think there’s a definite market there.
Welcome to summer!
Congrats on getting started on the summer break! Loved the post! Also I love to cook, so let me know if you want me to send you some easy yummy recipes!
Thank you! And yes, by all means, I’d love some yummy recipes. Especially if they’re easy. And won’t require the assistance of the fire department. Wait, scratch that: I love firemen.
I think making yachts out of recycled water bottles might be my true calling. My mom has me completely addicted to every program featuring David Bromstad at this point!
HAHA! Well I’ll give you this recipe and you can make an extra batch to light up for inviting some sexy firemen to join you
Let me know how it goes and also anything you can’t eat, let me know that too! Here’s a favorite of mine though. On the healthier side, easy, and filling: http://www.studentcooking.tv/recipes/mozzarella-stuffed-chicken-breast
I always enjoy reading your posts. I’m just now catching up. I can relate to your summer frenzy. I teach high school and even though it’s supposed to be “summer break” I find that I am always creating projects for myself. Keep writing! Oh, and good luck with the gluten-free diet. Here’s to hoping you can create some wonderful, tasty meals that don’t resemble wet cardboard.